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I haven’t been back to Vegas since I was 21. I am now the ripe age of 29 – experiencing the twilight of my last days of having a reasonable excuse for my career shortcomings before I hit adulthood. One last hurrah before I embark on my next travel job escapade looking for gainful employment, but before I head back to Thailand – clutching my multi-paged resume, I would need some decent R & R before I took that long, all to well-known walk down the international departure lane. And what better place to relax and catch some extra sleep before starting a new job than Las Vegas Nevada.
My first memory of Vegas is a fond one. I recall playing carnival games and eating questionable meat at a joisting match at the medieval themed Excalibur hotel. My other recollection is of a distant 21st birthday. One with the father, making lots of money on some Pai Gow table only to lose it all ten minutes later when the adrenaline had worn off and 683 lawn mowing jobs went out the window. And lastly, although slightly more fuzzy, I believe there were a couple of moments with fraternity brothers pretending to be cool getting bottom service by some busty and intelligent looking cocktail waitress at the Hard Rock hotel, only to wake up the next morning feeling not quite as Steve McQueen cool as the night prior and a significantly lighter wallet all in the same heart sinking blow.
Enter Adult Turner.
Adult Turner has a larger pallet of interests and has acquired new level of sophistication. He is no longer merely trying to win some giant stuffed animal that is made in China while eating processed meat, or gambling his life savings on some table games because he knows in his heart he can beat the odds. Adult Turner laughs at the idea of buying bottles to impress some young, scantily clad woman. No, adult bound Turner does what all of us our destine to do when we walk the plank toward our 30s and get a little bit older, a little bit wiser, and hopefully, a little bit more thoughtful: we dine at restaurants with tables, we spend money on slots for a fraction of the cost knowing we will eventually lose it all, we attend world class shows where we wake up with laughs instead of migraines, we spend our hard earned money on life experiences not involving posting bail, we take the time to walk the sights we can see from our hotel room, and we learn to bring a scantily clad woman with us.
We graduate from losing all our money in 5 minutes and drinking the rest of the time, to losing all our money gradually and drinking for free the rest of the time, in fact, getting up to speed quickly was easy, checking casino terms using Casinopedia.org, a handy resource for tips and strategy.
Sorry girls, I am omitting the photo of me playing the Sex & the City game to save my last shred of masculinity that I have left…but I must admit, I got pretty good at getting that big bonus by accessorizing the right shoes and handbag for Sammantha.
Life Experiences (with pictures and stuff for evidence)
We go for life experiences, scratching off those secret guilty pleasures from our bucket list – like helicopter rides to the Grand Canyon.
We take in world class shows…
We still try to party a bit
Take in the Sights
We may even get off a table game for a bit or out of a club and see some stuff.
Check out the Mob Museum, seriously. It is interactive with real people. Kind of creepy but also very cool.
And you can still see a scantily clad woman, except it is your date instead of that girl who just conned a drink out of you.
Ah, was this what I was stressin’ about all these years. Adulthood ain’t so bad.