Laid off of seasonal work

The End of my tenure as a Christmas Tree Salesman

The Last Day as a Christmas Tree Salesman

In a morning just like any other, I get a call from my boss at the usual time for last minute subbing.

Mark: Hey Turner…What’s happening?

Me: Not much (eating breakfast, thinking, ah yes another day of deliveries and crisp Jacksons in my hands).

Mark: Just wanted to call to let you know we are fully stocked of employees going forward. Nothing against you. We just are not needing anymore help on the lot. We got 4 guys fully scheduled.

Me: Oh…I see. (he means 4 guys that are more proficient in the labor game).

Mark: Come by sometime and I got a little present for you at the front the desk.

Me: (silence…phone goes dead).

…And just like that, I am in the same boat as my Occupying Brothers…cast out into the cold by a heartless corporation during the holidays. My services will no longer be required on the Christmas tree farm. But with what love? I came in hung over, on weekends, on my days off to slang those trees. Who else will tend to their limbs and sap with such care? A part of me feels like Tiny Tim at Christmas, just looking for a little cheer and hope. In case you know anyone who needs a Christmas Tree Consultant, my services have suddenly become available.

It’s almost poetic. It seems that once one starts to really feel comfortable in a given situation, be it a job, a relationship or stealing company office supplies, things are bound to come to an abrupt end in some shape or form. I knew this day was coming. Things had been slowing at the lot. More loitering around by employees, looking for jobs to look productive, like picking up trash on the lot and raking leaves. I feel like my side work of consuming Apple cider at the express machine and making sarcastic holiday comments has gone unappreciated. Oh well, maybe I will start my own Xmas tree farm, or perhaps buy a red tin can and bell.

Even Tiny Tim appreciates the Apple Cider machine


However, overall I can’t really complain. I met interesting people, drank sugary holiday beverages to my hearts content, and managed to not have a tree that I tied down on top of car come flying off and kill somebody (as far as I know).

Either way, it is time to hit the road once more in search of my muse and adventure travel job journey. To be continued…

Turner barr

Hi, my name is Turner. I travel the world, hustle to find interesting jobs, and write about what happens when you read too many self-help books.

  • Nick Koffler
    Posted at 19:56h, 28 December

    Well said! Slinging X-Mass Trees was fun while it lasted! Love the Santa Cartoon.

  • Catnip602
    Posted at 12:45h, 23 December

    I can’t wait to read your next update!In the meantime, wherever you might lay your head for the next few nights, may you have a very Merry Christmas, a bottomless pot of Gluehwein, some awesome dinner cooked for you and many more fun folks to meet! Greetings from the Smokies of East Tennessee 🙂

    • Turner
      Posted at 11:11h, 26 December

      Thanks – I did and will continue with my gluhwein drip. Gotta get off of it before I head back out. Happy Holidays.

  • Adventure Travel Jobs Abroad
    Posted at 09:27h, 31 December

    […] It all started with me testing out the shallow end of the pool by flexing my non-existant muscles by means of hawking Christmas trees and holiday cheer in my hometown of Bellevue Washington. I learned a lot during that holiday season – from the subtle nuances in the difference between trees to how to cheat the American welfare state from colleagues.  But it was not to be. While I did enjoy smelling of pine and non-stop Natt King Cole, the season came to an abrupt end and the guy who has the muscle dexterity of a 7 year old girl scout is the first out the door. […]