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The Last Day as a Christmas Tree Salesman
In a morning just like any other, I get a call from my boss at the usual time for last minute subbing.
Mark: Hey Turner…What’s happening?
Me: Not much (eating breakfast, thinking, ah yes another day of deliveries and crisp Jacksons in my hands).
Mark: Just wanted to call to let you know we are fully stocked of employees going forward. Nothing against you. We just are not needing anymore help on the lot. We got 4 guys fully scheduled.
Me: Oh…I see. (he means 4 guys that are more proficient in the labor game).
Mark: Come by sometime and I got a little present for you at the front the desk.
Me: (silence…phone goes dead).
…And just like that, I am in the same boat as my Occupying Brothers…cast out into the cold by a heartless corporation during the holidays. My services will no longer be required on the Christmas tree farm. But with what love? I came in hung over, on weekends, on my days off to slang those trees. Who else will tend to their limbs and sap with such care? A part of me feels like Tiny Tim at Christmas, just looking for a little cheer and hope. In case you know anyone who needs a Christmas Tree Consultant, my services have suddenly become available.
It’s almost poetic. It seems that once one starts to really feel comfortable in a given situation, be it a job, a relationship or stealing company office supplies, things are bound to come to an abrupt end in some shape or form. I knew this day was coming. Things had been slowing at the lot. More loitering around by employees, looking for jobs to look productive, like picking up trash on the lot and raking leaves. I feel like my side work of consuming Apple cider at the express machine and making sarcastic holiday comments has gone unappreciated. Oh well, maybe I will start my own Xmas tree farm, or perhaps buy a red tin can and bell.
However, overall I can’t really complain. I met interesting people, drank sugary holiday beverages to my hearts content, and managed to not have a tree that I tied down on top of car come flying off and kill somebody (as far as I know).
Either way, it is time to hit the road once more in search of my muse and adventure travel job journey. To be continued…