So I have been in Bangkok about a week so far, and the going has been a bit slower than I originally anticipated. Not slow in terms of the amount of taxis or tuktuks trying to run me over, or the amount of the sexual offers I have received from Thailand’s finest lady boys, but slower in terms of finding a suitable living situation. I have stayed in three different guesthouses of the shithole – broken fan on the ceiling as I drip sweat from every pore of my body all night – varietal. With two of said guest houses evicting me for some unknown reason – it tends to involve a bipolar little Thai woman who wears sweatpants all day making yappy dog sounds and pointing.
There have been several moments where I have second guessed my decision of moving to Bangkok in search of everlasting wisdom and happiness. Those moments usually occur the morning after one too many buckets (literally a bucket filled with Redbull or M150, the supercharged hallucination inducing Thai version, and some alcohol that resembles cheap vodka), or when I get starred down by a very attractive she-male with a pecker that is making its presence known. It is not that I am judgmental of the hybrid gender folk or the men who court these gals – far from it. Our world needs as much love as it can get and people willing to be who they truly are, even if that means wearing 6-inch stilettos and getting a bad boob job. With such an open-minded environment here I may yet just meet a girl who loves me for more than my Buddha belly and fabulous sense of self-entitlement.
Job Opportunities in Thailand
On the job front however, I am a bit more optimistic. There seems to be a lot of job opportunities in Bangkok, from do gooder NGOs feeding the impoverished to shady sales jobs hawking amazing tourist trinkets to living the dream of mouthing baby talk to Thais for hours on end (see: teaching English). The expat community in general, from old fat white men on pensions to online
shameless hucksters bloggers hustlers are bountiful here, however both groups thus far seem more fascincated with trying to get laid than by offering me employment opportunities.
I have vainly attempted to make my video debut on the internet, but have been having technical uploading issues due to poor internet connectivity (see: cheap guesthouse slum lord). I am actually a bit disappointed by it thus far, since I thought Thailand would have lightening fast internet, as Asians pirate more than Black Beard. At the same time as this plight, I also have been struggling to know what to say in the videos I produce, as I do not know the names of things nor how to pronounce them, as such, the videos usually consist of me standing in front of something foreign and rambling on sarcastically trying to pull out a nugget of coherent knowledge. Any feedback is much welcomed. But only if you liked it, if not, don’t feel the need to say anything too mean – I am very sensitive. Oh and go fuck yourself for raining on my parade.
I have no idea what to say here: Bangkok, river, black plague, traffic, etc.
In Ko Chang, a rare glimpse of me being optimistic and hopeful.