Bangkok river

Job, Apartment, and Soul Searching in Bangkok

So I have been in Bangkok about a week so far, and the going has been a bit slower than I originally anticipated. Not slow in terms of the amount of taxis or tuktuks trying to run me over, or the amount of the sexual offers I have received from Thailand’s finest lady boys, but slower in terms of finding a suitable living situation. I have stayed in three different guesthouses of the shithole – broken fan on the ceiling as I drip sweat from every pore of my body all night – varietal. With two of said guest houses evicting me for some unknown reason – it tends to involve a bipolar little Thai woman who wears sweatpants all day making yappy dog sounds and pointing.

Bangkok sunset

Bangkok sunset

There have been several moments where I have second guessed my decision of moving to Bangkok in search of everlasting wisdom and happiness. Those moments usually occur the morning after one too many buckets (literally a bucket filled with Redbull or M150, the supercharged hallucination inducing Thai version, and some alcohol that resembles cheap vodka), or when I get starred down by a very attractive she-male with a pecker that is making its presence known.  It is not that I am judgmental of the hybrid gender folk or the men who court these gals – far from it. Our world needs as much love as it can get and people willing to be who they truly are, even if that means wearing 6-inch stilettos and getting a bad boob job. With such an open-minded environment here I may yet just meet a girl who loves me for more than my Buddha belly and fabulous sense of self-entitlement.

looks promising

looks promising


Job Opportunities in Thailand

On the job front however, I am a bit more optimistic. There seems to be a lot of job opportunities in Bangkok, from do gooder NGOs feeding the impoverished to shady sales jobs hawking amazing tourist trinkets to living the dream of mouthing baby talk to Thais for hours on end (see: teaching English).  The expat community in general, from old fat white men on pensions to online shameless hucksters bloggers hustlers are bountiful here, however both groups thus far seem more fascincated with trying to get laid than by offering me employment opportunities.

Bangkok downtown

I have vainly attempted to make my video debut on the internet, but have been having technical uploading issues due to poor internet connectivity (see: cheap guesthouse slum lord). I am actually a bit disappointed by it thus far, since I thought Thailand would have lightening fast internet, as Asians pirate more than Black Beard.  At the same time as this plight, I also have been struggling to know what to say in the videos I produce, as I do not know the names of things nor how to pronounce them, as such, the videos usually consist of me standing in front of something foreign and rambling on sarcastically trying to pull out a nugget of coherent knowledge. Any feedback is much welcomed.  But only if you liked it, if not, don’t feel the need to say anything too mean – I am very sensitive. Oh and go fuck yourself for raining on my parade.

I have no idea what to say here: Bangkok, river, black plague, traffic, etc.

In Ko Chang, a rare glimpse of me being optimistic and hopeful.

Turner barr

Hi, my name is Turner. I travel the world, hustle to find interesting jobs, and write about what happens when you read too many self-help books.

  • Alexa Hart
    Posted at 12:21h, 05 February

    Good luck on the job front and finding housing. Maybe housesitting would be a good, free gig. It would be sweet if you got a job at one of the lounges of those high-end hotels overlooking the city. 

    • Around the World in 80 Jobs
      Posted at 07:10h, 06 February

      Maybe. I am trying to up the ante and get into video. Too bad I suck at it.

      • Alexa Hart
        Posted at 08:54h, 06 February

        It takes time. You’re doing just fine so far!

  • Max
    Posted at 12:21h, 05 February

    Lose the tank-top Turner.  You look way too Aussie.

    • Turner
      Posted at 18:05h, 05 February

      Haha. I just need some ray bans and short jeans shorts

  • Cole @
    Posted at 01:15h, 06 February

    Shirt on in my opinion. Good luck mate we might be over that way in a few months.

  • Londoner Kate
    Posted at 15:45h, 10 February

    HahaI loved this post. Bangkok is one of the places I can’t wait to go the most! You are one funny guy. You ever had a job in London?