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So in order to increase my chances of getting a nice girlfriend as well as shave off precious seconds to my 100 meter freestyle time, I got some hair threading done while I roasted on the beach in Sihanouville Cambodia. Due to popular demand (maybe seeing me in pain?), people have requested to see what hair threading (see: man torture) looks like. Basically there is a masterful movement made by old lady who rips out all your unwanted (or wanted, but it is in her path of destruction) hair. She begins with rubbing some baby powder on the target area then she commences with her full assault. It might be worth noting that the neck, and other sensitive areas I have been told (underarms, bikini area etc) are surprisingly excruciatingly painful to have the operation performed on. It is for these reasons I have decided to let my future mother of my children do the whole child birth thing while I get drunk, smoke cigars, and play concerned on the sidelines. It is not that women are so much stronger than the male gender for constantly getting their bodies plucked, waxed, tortured to look good etc per say, it is just that I am so much better at drinking and playing the passionate observer who throws out that “oh come on, it is not that painful” part. I mean really, in this game you gotta have a champion on the sidelines – and who better to champion you than a man who is willing to put himself in your shoes for 25 minutes of his life. What a chum.
So future mother of my children – in short – I can now say I feel your pain and will do my damnest to play my role when your baby popping out number is called. That role being avid supporter, cheer leader, and guy who tactfully forgets just how painful the experience is and says “Ah come on honey bunny, it is not that bad, just push once more”. I might even make a buck and sell the dvd on musicMagpie.
(yes it is dick).