What happens when you are turning 30 and go to the Vegas

welcome to vegas

I haven’t been back to Vegas since I was 21. I am now the ripe age of 29 – experiencing the twilight of my last days of having a reasonable excuse for my career shortcomings before I hit adulthood. One last hurrah before I embark on my next travel job escapade looking for gainful employment, but before I head back to Thailand – clutching my multi-paged resume, I would need some decent R & R before I took that long, all to well-known walk down the international departure lane.  And what better place to relax and catch some extra sleep before starting a new job than Las Vegas Nevada.

International flight

My first memory of Vegas is a fond one. I recall playing carnival games and eating questionable meat at a joisting match at the medieval themed Excalibur hotel.  My other recollection is of a distant 21st birthday. One with the father, making lots of money on some Pai Gow table only to lose it all ten minutes later when the adrenaline had worn off and 683 lawn mowing jobs went out the window. And lastly, although slightly more fuzzy, I believe there were a couple of moments with fraternity brothers pretending to be cool getting bottom service by some busty and intelligent looking cocktail waitress at the Hard Rock hotel, only to wake up the next morning feeling not quite as Steve McQueen cool as the night prior and a significantly lighter wallet all in the same heart sinking blow.

Enter Adult Turner.

Adult Turner has a larger pallet of interests and has acquired new level of sophistication. He is no longer merely trying to win some giant stuffed animal that is made in China while eating processed meat, or gambling his life savings on some table games because he knows in his heart he can beat the odds. Adult Turner laughs at the idea of buying bottles to impress some young, scantily clad woman. No, adult bound Turner does what all of us our destine to do when we walk the plank toward our 30s and get a little bit older, a little bit wiser, and hopefully, a little bit more thoughtful:  we dine at restaurants with tables, we spend money on slots for a fraction of the cost knowing we will eventually lose it all, we attend world class shows where we wake up with laughs instead of migraines, we spend our hard earned money on life experiences not involving posting bail, we take the time to walk the sights we can see from our hotel room, and we learn to bring a scantily clad woman with us.

 

Fine Dining

my marvelous photo taking skills

my marvelous photo taking skills

 

forgot to snap a shot of the nice burger I had, so this imagry will have to do

forgot to snap a shot of the nice burger I had, so this imagery will have to do

 

Gamble Smarter

We graduate from losing all our money in 5 minutes and drinking the rest of the time, to losing all our money gradually and drinking for free the rest of the time, in fact, getting up to speed quickly was easy, checking casino terms using Casinopedia.org, a handy resource for tips and strategy.

buck hunter slot

 

Combing gambling and shooting...genuis

Combining gambling and shooting…genius

 

We are more focus and serious as we grow up

We are more focused and serious at the dawn of 30

 

What do you think, should I take the deal?

What do you think, should I take the deal?

 

Why does Winston have the worst pay out? Typical racist casinos

Why does Winston have the worst pay out? Typical racist casinos

 

You don't win this one no matter what you do

You don’t win this one no matter what you do

Sorry girls, I am omitting the photo of me playing the Sex & the City game to save my last shred of masculinity that I have left…but I must admit, I got pretty good at getting that big bonus by accessorizing the right shoes and handbag for Sammantha.

Life Experiences (with pictures and stuff for evidence)

We go for life experiences, scratching off those secret guilty pleasures from our bucket list – like helicopter rides to the Grand Canyon.

I don't know why I am doing the hang loose sign. Do kids still do that?

I don’t know why I am doing the hang loose sign. Do kids still do that?

 

maverick helicopter grand canyon

 

A very manly, masculine yet adult pose

A very manly, masculine yet adult pose

 

the big guy

the big guy

 

The Shows

We take in world class shows…

penn and teller sign

penn and teller at rio

No, I am not that petite, Penn is that big

No, I am not that petite, Penn is that big

Party Time?

We still try to party a bit

 

steel panther

 

 

Don't miss feeling like an asshole

Don’t miss feeling like an asshole

Who needs to drink all night when you can get this entertainment for free?

Who needs to drink all night when you can get this entertainment for free?

 

Beach Party to reminisce

Beach Party to reminisce

 

Take in the Sights

We may even get off a table game for a bit or out of a club and see some stuff.

The iconic sign

The iconic sign

 

Old Vegas - Worth a look. You will feel better about yourself when you look at who else is there

Old Vegas – Worth a look. You will feel better about yourself when you look at who else is there

 

the classic vintage casinos

the classic vintage casinos

 

the Vegas cowboy

the Vegas cowboy

 

A restaurant no one should ever dine in

A restaurant no one should ever dine in

 

New stuff that wasn't there last time you were there. Aria ceiling

New stuff that wasn’t there last time you were there. Aria ceiling

 

Check out the Mob Museum, seriously. It is interactive with real people. Kind of creepy but also very cool.

You can get a little bit of history in the mob musuem

You can get a little bit of history in the mob museum

 

And you can still see a scantily clad woman, except it is your date instead of that girl who just conned a drink out of you.

IMG_1852

 

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Ah, was this what I was stressin’ about all these years. Adulthood ain’t so bad.

Turner barr
turnerbarr@gmail.com

Hi, my name is Turner. I travel the world, hustle to find interesting jobs, and write about what happens when you read too many self-help books.

9 Comments
  • Jesse
    Posted at 19:57h, 19 August

    Good Stuff

  • Steve Miller
    Posted at 23:35h, 19 August

    Well played. I will say that one of the best places we visited in Las Vegas was the Mob Museum. It was awesome.

    • Turner
      Posted at 22:06h, 09 September

      Seriously, really cool with some surprising twists.

  • Jeremy
    Posted at 20:35h, 20 August

    Great finale, Turner: “AND I got laid, suckers!”

  • Londoner Kate
    Posted at 19:53h, 21 August

    I’m in two minds about Vegas. The photos always look incredible but I imagine blowing every penny I ever earned. Being the party animal that I am (apparently) I’d probably love it. Fuck I’m scared of ageing.

  • Nadia
    Posted at 21:55h, 24 August

    Love it! I went to Vegas five years ago – I’m 29 now and planning a reunion next year!

  • Ryan
    Posted at 23:16h, 26 August

    Ha, very good contrast you have here. I lived in Vegas for 6 months and it was hell. I vowed never to go back, yet on my 22nd birthday some friends took me for a couple days and I had an alcohol induced good time. Maybe I’ll revisit in the coming years…looks like you had a pretty rad time!

    • Turner
      Posted at 22:08h, 09 September

      Vegas is definitely a place to handle in doses. Too little and you miss, too much and you OD and wake up next to …somewhere wearing something you didnt the night before. I miss it already.

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