Morelia: the Ciudad de Los Ninos

Most cities you go to which are dubbed “colonial”, or some other architecture name I can’t be bothered to Google, are generally composed of only a portion of “colonial” greatness, that being the old town or historic center, with the rest of the town usually being some type of industrial shithole. However, my precious Morelia is all colonial baby. No shortcuts or architecture atrocities in sight. Plus one. Yet it still has the charm of my other favorite gem, Puerto Vallarta, that being very gay beetles and men dressed up in unusual garb who like to serenade you as you eat.

me in my ugly hat enjoying a magical fountain

The lack of slums anywhere near the center is itself a rarity, however its exceptionalism reigns not from architecture alone, but by the humming of the city. Vendors hawk delicious popcorn, ice cream/yogurt/smoothie concoctions and chips/crisps with picante sauce, instead of the “I am in Cancun Bitch” or “Female Body Inspector” shirts that seem to have a solid market in other beach tourist havens in Mexico (can’t hate on the vendors – the market always knows best – but I can hate on the herds of white trash that do create a market for such unsexworthy apparel). Draped in a rosy hew, Morelia’s buildings are complimented by greenery flowing down their ageless walls, maintained parks lining the entrances, fountains with subtle elegance, and a well intact aqueduct that is a site in its own right. The nightlife scene is consistent with the rest of the city; lounges and rooftop bars boast a nice break from dingy Mexican ranchero bars and beach bars with hipster-hippie-faux surfer hybids. And because Morelia has Universities, there are a variety of events, such as the painful rock concert I went to and an endless amount of students making out in parks, church entrances, restaurants, sidewalks, ice cream stands, under the aquaduct…etc. However, the one oddity that did strike me, which is also actually another consistency with the rest of Mexico, is the lack of anyone between the ages of 20-30. Like many other cities in Mexico, after graduating from University, most grads find more employment opportunities in the big cities, Mexico City and Guadalajara, or one of the tourist Meccas, as such; many of Mexico’s smaller towns have skewed population demographics: the young, the old, or the explosively pregnant.

Me & a rare Morelian girl of legal age (I hope) who is not explosively pregnant (yet)

Anyway you break it down, Morelia is pleasant stop if you hate the hippie beach drum circle hordes, or want to take pass on the socks & sandals masses that make me understand who is keeping McDonald’s business humming along (outside the hangover crowd). Anyway way you slice it , Morelia is a piece of heaven – and not the dessert kind – like the naughty girl who scratches your back like a wolverine type. Yeah…

Turner barr
turnerbarr@gmail.com

Hi, my name is Turner. I travel the world, hustle to find interesting jobs, and write about what happens when you read too many self-help books.

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