Last week I evaluated the SEO on my site – revealing that for six months now, Sex In Cuba, remained the returning and undisputed champion 9 months running. Those people searching for said term must be utterly disappointed. And while I am honored that Google holds me in such great esteem to place me at the top of the list for information on the how to of sexual encounters on the island, I am sure there are some other things going on in Cuba that are also worth noting. Normally, I like to keep my posts flowing with underwhelming quips and overwhelming generalizations, but when it comes to Cuba, there is some kind of strange mystique in the air. So I dug up some of my videos that I kept vaulted away.
This one is about diving in the Bay of Pigs – Saved by the Bell timeout – that’s where the US tried to oust Castro and his hippie socialist brothers (Che) in 1961 after they had run out the mob and dirty capitalistas (big ‘Merican business). And for you fact checkers out there, yes, I do say 1959 in the video, but the failed coup d’état actually was in 1961. Also, I like to wear shirts with no sleeves as lobster red is in this season.
On the Crab Road to the Dive Site. Thousands of Crabs invade Playa Giron and Larga during certain seasons. And ironically, just like the attempted invasion from 1961, these crawlers are repealed back and squashed by the mighty iron fist of communism (see: giant RV tires).
As you can tell, I am a pretty much an idiot savant when it comes to video production. Unfortunately, it is more of the former than the latter. And we finish up not with gorgeous underwater video footage of that day – naw that would be too easy. A true entertainer can captivate you with sub-par footage of a sunburnt gringo.
I was pretty excited to go diving at the Bay of Pigs to be honest. Mainly because I wanted to see some of the US landing craft wrecks. However, I have to throw my bullshit flag on Lonely Planet for saying that you can dive at said dive sites. My dive instructor, who I reckon had been scuba-ing before he had been salsa-ing in Cuba – and that’s saying something – informed me of this Western propaganda, as all of the aforementioned landing craft were either destroyed, or too deep for any normal recreational diving. Dreams crushed, Cuba wins my greenbacks anyway, and even as my wildest aspirations of seeing US landing craft wrecks goes up in smoke – the metaphorical type – not the cigar varietal, I still give communist high tens around (5’s cant be divided equally, we are communists after all) for the pristine diving conditions.
So, in conclusion, Cuba diving bueno, Lonely Planet information shito.