Timeshare Sales Jobs: Convenient Inaccuracies

Dream Adventure Travel Job?

I am going into my second week of my new adventure travel job, a Timeshare sales job, and the truth is slowing starting to seep through the cracks. When you hang around timeshares salesmen long enough, or psychopaths, you start to notice that you start believing the bullshit. It is actually probably one of the requirements if you ever want to be a really good salesman – deluding yourself into believing your own nonsense.

From my first day at this adventure travel job, I was told I would have a uniform and be processed in a couple of days and be on my way to making the big pesos. Well that wasn’t entirely accurate, at least not the part about having a uniform, being a processed employee or making any pesos. No it seems I was stuck in the Bermuda Triangle of employment, where the office administration ladies scornfully told me daily that I could not have a uniform despite the insistence of management. Management would go in and say “Hey give the new guy a uniform”. They would nod and say “si”. Then five minutes later I would politely ask again for a shirt, and they would say “no”, or possibly “fuck off and die”. I am still not quite sure. I need to work on my Spanish.

Actually, the whole fiasco from a certain point of view ended up being a real shot in the arm for fostering employee bonding.

I gots a uniform

I was fortunate because my manager offered me his nametag to use and another employee gave me an extra work shirt. So in the end, our teamwork beat the bureaucracy and corporate policy makers with their rules, regulations and obeying Mexican laws.

However, having only uniforms woes would not set off any major alarms bells, in fact, at my Christmas tree sales odd job I had a gapping hole in the crotch of my uniform for almost the entirety of my gainful employment. No, rather the real issue of alarm seems to be a few “inaccuracies” in the information presented.

First, it began with new murals that were placed in the customer staging area. The managers had been touting for a week or so about how the organization was really ramping up and getting serious about investing in its sales force capital. Below is the giant mural/map that was installed in the room. Take a moment and see if you can see a possible error or seven.

Honduras?

First and foremost, an entire country is missing, Honduras. Now I could maybe understand this slight error if we were say in the 6th grade and not in fact in the business of tourism, but let’s just assume the person making the map can also count their toes and the manager approving such a mural is not completely retarded. The second most glaring error to the average observer would be the scale of the map. Now, I am no mathematician, topography expert, geography-ist or – shit, I can barely spell the word geography-ist (I just made it up, I am learning so much from my new job), but I am pretty sure that Colombia and Venezuela together do not make up 80% of South America.

And the last heinous, and most a grievous, error that company approved mural revealed is the fact that from day one, I have been told by all my trainers and managers alike that we have 27 resorts around the world. But based on these picture here is seems that number is actually 22. And by 22 I mean really 11 as 11 are just “affiliate properties” which means nothing as you have to pay to stay that those.

 

And just like that, my soul has officially died.

 

Turner barr
turnerbarr@gmail.com

Hi, my name is Turner. I travel the world, hustle to find interesting jobs, and write about what happens when you read too many self-help books.

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