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Timeshare Presentations: Beware of Strokers

Timeshare Presentations Strokers

It can be hard for an amateur to see them coming. Experienced timeshares salesmen can usually spot them. But for a mere novice, it can be hard to tell the difference. I am talking about Strokers.

Strokers are people who attend Timeshare Presentations by going on tour after tour of different resorts to get free stuff, usually money. They are called Strokers by the industry aficionados because that is what these professional vacationers do: they stroke. They stroke the egos of the sales people. They compliment and rave about how much they adore the facility. They are pleasant and are agreeable during the entire timeshares sales presentation, so much so that they can leave the sales person tingling with excitement as the gullible newbie believes they got a sale in the bag. In pimp speak; they flip the script on the Timeshare salesman’s ass.

They can be hard to spot because you can’t pin Strokers to a certain demographic. You don’t see young Strokers, because you don’t see them at Timeshare Presentations to begin with. Young people don’t qualify to go on the tours because Timeshares know they are usually brokeasses looking for a handout (35+ years old, married couple with the same name – never single men, no matter how old and what their credit card limit says). What makes Strokers so different from normal people just looking for a free hand out at the expense of some mega resort, is that are actually good at conning the sharks.

My tour began in typical introduction fashion (Oh you are from xyz? Oh I just love it there blah blah), but soon it turned into something more. They were so nice. They complimented me at every corner and caressed my ego in all the right places. It felt magnificent. Like a hot shower on a cold timeshare sales day. But that is the problem. People who actually will buy from you will be apprehensive and not interested at first, maybe even combative toward you, until you turn them. The Strokers on the other hand, “love the program”, “love the property” and just flat out “love you like the child they never had”.

“It just looks so great. They did such a nice job on the renovation here”.

“Ya know Turner, you really remind us of our son.”

“Wow, you must meet so many beautiful Mexican girls Turner with those green eyes of yours…”

But is a charade. A hoax. They play a sales person like a fiddle so that they can score some easy money and maybe a show. They duck and weave questions like a banker before the senate. How can I possibly karate chop any problems if they don’t have any? Bruce Lee said that a true martial artist must be as adaptive and flexible as water, well these people were as bendy as Richard Simmons and I am as flexible as your average republican candidate. In short, by not conveying any problems to overcome, they essentially change the equation from a game of strategic, backwards logic to Candy Cane Land.

Me: “So is there is anything besides the money preventing you from becoming our newest members today?”

Woman: “Well, it just doesn’t feel quite right…at least not right now.”

Me: “But you will only get this great value offered today and you said you love everything about it here. What doesn’t feel right?”

Man: “Well Turner, I love it here, I do. I can really envision myself here. But when you have been married for as long as I have, you realize it is all about keeping your lady happy. And if she doesn’t feel right, there is no way I can move forward”.

Brav-fuckin-O. Putting the onus on the wife while stroking me as he puts one foot out the door. It was like the beautiful seductress in the bar who whispers sweet nothings in your ear all night before she casually mentions her fiancé is picking her up in 5 minutes. “Oh didn’t I tell you I had a boyfriend? Oopsies…thanks for the all attention and free drinks though”.

Who would have thought getting stroked could feel so bad.

Turner barr
turnerbarr@gmail.com

Hi, my name is Turner. I travel the world, hustle to find interesting jobs, and write about what happens when you read too many self-help books.

2 Comments
  • Your SEO optimized title
    Posted at 09:22h, 30 October

    […] Part narcissism, part self-delusion, 100% true hustler salesmen. In the words of one of my former Timeshare sales colleagues: What do you call someone who isn’t buying a holiday package from me? An asshole who’s wasting […]

  • Anon
    Posted at 13:06h, 31 December

    Hahahaha.  The timeshare seducer complaining about being stroked.