European Theme park

American vs European Theme Parks: A Day in Efteling

I recently took a trip to Holland’s version of Disneyland, Efteling, and I must say, waiting in line was not nearly as tedious as it is in Disneyland, as you can both smoke (cigarettes only:( ) and drink beer or wine coolers (fabulous).  However, word to the wise, do not buy the beer and put them in your pockets between rides, as they are bound to get ferociously shaken up  and will explode upon little German children waiting in line when you open them. I must give props to the German parents behind us when this unforseeable explosion took place, had this happened in the American heartland (not that it would, as letting a bunch of drunks around children in parks would be the biggest liability ever), American parents would have skinned me alive (or at least attempted to, I am pretty spry when inebriated).

 

After giving the German children a complimentary beer shower. Note, you can also buy Corona, but is twice the price and you have to deal with the risk of broken glass – and frankly that is just plain dangerous and irresponsible Dutch people.

 

Popcorn and beer: the perfect waiting in line combo

 

Sudo-gay and very girly, but tasty nonetheless

 

Fast food vendor Febo puts McDonald’s speed to shame

 

Not sure what this is, but it tastes French

And another piece of advice, as one of my Dutch readers pointed out: If you are going to eat the deep fried Febo, you need to wait patiently for it to come out fresh, or risk eating something that tastes something with the texture of slightly warm, harden cat food.

 

No smoking…inside the loading area, you got to do that in the line or when you are off the ride when you can blow smoke in the kiddies faces, you chain smoking fiend

 

Nothing different here, just a cool action shot. However, it amazes me that Dutch people can fit on the rides, as although Americans are on average twice as wide, they are twice as tall, and their rides have leg capacity built for that of Chinese children.

 

Up close with a Dutch alcoholic talking trash can “Beer Here”

 

Feeding the talking garbage can – and who says Americans aren’t a giving (enabler) people

Is the talking garbage can saying “papier hier” or “beer here”? I don’t know.

This video is so incredibly stupid and not even the least bit funny or clever or even original. I am a 28 year old man-child,  arguably educated, and yet I am so immature that I am feeding the garbage can beer like a child feeding ducks in a park. But I can’t not show this video of me acting like the git that I am for some reason. Self-inflicted shaming for living a life of impulse and instant gratification?  A deeper inner desire to serve as an albatross of what happens when you let an ex-frat guy travel and have access to the Internet with an irreverent attitude toward future consequences? I don’t know what it is, but frankly, I can’t stop laughing and only want to put more beer in this cute little garbage can’s mouth.

the magical Dutch ending

 

Turner barr
turnerbarr@gmail.com

Hi, my name is Turner. I travel the world, hustle to find interesting jobs, and write about what happens when you read too many self-help books.

8 Comments
  • Dima Zemsky
    Posted at 08:00h, 23 October

    Ah, I remember the days when you could drink for free at Seaworld… That used to be the best park ever! 🙂

    • Turner
      Posted at 08:07h, 23 October

      I dont ever recall that. But I havent been back there since I was but a boy with a dream.

    • AP
      Posted at 10:52h, 23 October

       Dima…those really were the days. Me and my dad proceeded to try every Bud variety known to man, relentlessly attempt to fuck with the dolphins, and very much piss off my mother.

  • De Andere Wereld
    Posted at 09:24h, 23 October

    It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how many times you threw something in his mouth, its still fun.
    But I only give him paper. I don’t remember if I did it because I thought other things would hurt him or because I take things literally.

  • Myvagabondlife
    Posted at 17:54h, 23 October

    So cool. I will definitely keep in mind the fresh Febo.

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